Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Todd's LiveJournal:

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Friday, June 16th, 2006
5:10 am	here is what's new with me... A video about where I work: http://www.savorynewyork.com hit the link to Mas Farmhouse and our website! www.masfarmhouse.com T (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 10th, 2005
11:09 am	where do I even begin So much has happened since my last update. Its kind of crazy to think about. Work is going really well. Lately, that's been my saving grace/. I lose myself in the food. It's therapy of some sort. Starting to work out again is nice also. I was really slacking on that. Getting back on track is key. When Lesley broke up with me a month ago it was like I was run over by a bus. This came out of nowhere. I mean really nowhere. Two days before that we were doing a private dinner for some rich family and things were fine. I guess she was so unhappy with other aspects of her life she felt like she was "dragging me down" which is a real bummer. She also did not see a future with someone who works my hours. She felt like she was single for 5 days a week and needed more consistency from someone she wanted to be with. She works days and I work nights, sometimes very late. I understand how she felt, but this is a two way street where she was so into the perks of my job, but hated my schedule. Kind of selfish actually. She did not even want me to come over after I got off work, even to stay with her. I think she's just unhappy about a lot of things that she needs to sort out. She has a new job now, so that might help...but she runs away from relationships (only the good ones) and is used to dating assholes.I swear that is Asinine, I still don't understand why some women do that. But I do miss her. we only saw each other a few days a week, but when we did it was so fun. It was easy being with her, we got along really well. Our sundays were so much fun. Im over it now, but still kind of sad. I have a feeling this is the first of many relationships which will end because of my career choice. But I will never change what I do for anyone anymore. I almost considered changing gigs to work a more normal schedule so we could spend more time together, but in the long run I am glad I did not. Love is a two way street, and she tried to block it. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 25th, 2005
1:37 am	spinning like a top. Gah. I am sore. Life on the line has been really damn good, I am just tired right now. Some days we are so busy I forget to eat entirely. Its hard sometimes, but I think I am slowly getting the hang of it, Alex, sarah and Galen are great teachers, and that is half the fun. The hardest part is the overthinking. I need to not beat myself up over every mistake, every pickup that does not go perfect. Im putting a lot of pressure on myself with this new station, because my biggest fear is to ever let someone down who rewarded me with an opportunity to excel, simply because they have faith in me. Boxing again, working on possibly quitting smoking soon. For the 4th time since I moved back to NYC. It cant be great for my health anymore, not that it ever was, however the toll of a 120+ degree kitchen takes more out of me that school or any other job ever did. Im trying to see more friends now, its tough with lack of funds or any energy to do much during the week. As for friday nights forget about it. Too tired. Kinda feeling a bit lame right now, but I will deal. I miss em. FAO cam and miz tinsel...glad you guys had so much fun in LV. I miss hanging out with you troublemakers. Some good times, and a few nights at the whiskey that are still a touch fuzzy. off to bed. Current Mood: my body is sore Current Music: Michael Penn-mr hollywood jr. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 13th, 2005
2:24 am	one of the best meals ever. Lesley and I had my employee (voucher) dinner at mas on wednesday night and it was the single best experience I EVER had as a diner. Here is the menu and wine pairing...I've been promoted to entremetier and the trail is going ok...I sweat tons and work my ass off. Trying to keep it smooth... This menu was the best meal of my life, and galen comped the whole thing. Wine included, it was the best night I have had in ages and really made me appreciate the food we do and the service, which was flawless. Le menu- 1. Pierre Gimmonet 1er Cru, Blanc de Blacs NV Kumomoto oyster, pear cider gelee, hackleback sturgeon caviar 2. Sancerre, Hippolyte Reverdy, Loire, France 2004 Tuna L'occidental, flashed beurre noisette, crispy shallots 3. Cassis, Clos Ste. Magdelaine, Provence, France 2003 Halibut stuffed squid with salad of squid and grilled heirloom tomato, basil puree 4. Cotes de Tablas, (Rhone Blend), Paso Robles, CA 2003 Butter poached maine lobster, sweet corn soup with ragout of black trumpets, chanterelles, sweet corn and tarragon with a parmesan tuile 5. Archery Summit Pinot Noir, Premier Cuvee, OR 2002 Line caught wahoo with licorice skewer, gin sage sauce, cranberry beans and zucchini mint puree 6. Morgon, Marcel Lapierre, Beaujolais, France 2003 Stone church farm duck breast with paprika figs and wild rice 7. Maranges 1er Cru, La Fussiere, Colin-Deleger, Burgundy, France 2002 Meiler farm steamed lamb loin, zucchini blossoms stuffed with braised lamb, roasted red shallots, baby summer vegtables and potato ricotta puree 8. Chateau La Roque, Cupa Numismae, Pic St-Loup, France 2001 Over the hill farm grass fed beef tenderlion, Spring onion marmalade, english peas with summer truffles and , potato thyme fritter Cheese plate with an INSANE muscat Dessert plate amuse geule Quark farmers cheese frozen parfait with greenmarket berries and a sugar plum soup Dessert with a grenache and the condreiu dessert wine Carmelized apricots with sweet polenta, chocolate pot de creme Chocolate milk caramel frozen with Cider caramel berries and tasmanian pepper ice cream Black mission fig tart with yogurt sorbet, red wine and anise reduction (Comment on this)
Monday, August 1st, 2005
9:43 pm	Its a mixed bag So a lot has happened recently, some things have been good, and others not so much. Bad news is my last remaining grandparent (grandmother on mom's side) is dying, she is back in the hospital with kidney failure and is in her 80's. Its tough because she wants nothing to do with her daughter, my mom. She does not want to see her, speak to her or even have her by her side during her inevitable last days. Heartbreaking.  I dont know what to do other than send my grandmother a card, but part of me wants to ask her why she won't see my mom. We only get one go around on this rock, why end it with any kind of animosity? I will never understand that. Its hurting my mom tons too, and my brother and I, while fiercely loyal to our extended family, will always be there for our parents, who have given us so much. We are angry with nana, yet I have empathy for nana, because of her pain and suffering. Abuse from my grandfather, his murder and her alcoholism left her with a life that she wishes she could have changed. I wish her and my mother could speak and say goodbye one last time. On other notes life is good, I love my apartment, work is good. and *Drum roll* I got a promotion at work! I start trailing on the entremetier station (which at mas is basically making all the soups, starches and vegtable garnishes that comes along with the entrees and hot appetizers) and I am SHITTING MY PANTS the amount of work has doubled, the pressure is enormous and the mise en place is very complicated. Lots of soups that need babysitting on the heat, bacon cream sauces with spinach and parsley water, polenta, potato puree that has to be so smooth and hot it requires constant attention. Im excited as hell, but it is still a lot of work. Which is good for me right now. Plus being back at the gym quite a bit is really good for me too. Keeps the head clear. Outside of work, I am trying to date a little more and have entered the online dating scene. It's a interesting experience to say the least. Actually it's a lot more work than I thought it would be. So far, nothing great to report, no one has really caught my eye over the past three dates, one of which was just dating online as an experiment to see if she had moved on from her past boyfriend. If I had known I was gonna be a fucking lab rat, we would have just gotten pizza instead of a la carte goodies at veritas. Where scott bryan (one of my favorite chef's) came out to say hi, sent us tons of food and comped our dessert and wine.  I love their food, and enjoy going there by myself or with someone else to sit at the bar and try something good. But I am still frustrated by the aspect of dating, yet to meet someone who really gets me and who I get. It's tough because life right now is closer to perfect than it has ever been. Im working out, eating good, loving work and the challenges, the farmers market has this fresh cherry juice that makes me weak in the knees. I guess I am ready to open up to someone now. I guess it just takes time to see if she is out there. Also I miss my friends, I bailed on 2 birthday parties this weekend because work kicked my ass so hard, I was still sweating, burns on my arms and all I wanted was one beer and some sleep. There was not enough right guard to make me acceptable for being out in public saturday night. But oh well. I did a dinner party recently, made some yummy food. Photos are available on my myspace profile since I don't know how to add them here. http://www.myspace.com/119299 Le menu Seared tuna with shaved fennel, lemon parsley sauce and verjus cherry tomatoes Carmelized scallops with spinach, corn and sherry onions Black bass with baby summer vegtables, potato puree and parsley sauce or Beef tenderloin, Baby Summer Vegtables, potato puree and sauce bordelaise. so all in all, the family will be ok, and I feel sad for my mom. I could use some female companionship and more time with friends.   Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 21st, 2005
1:18 am	Best I ever had So I had my interview with my chef, and he says I am doing everything he wants. He couln't be happier with my progress and is planning to move me up the line. Fooking awesome. He's not one to dish out compliments, but he was really happy and said I am doing a great job. That was really nice to hear. Other than that, he said I deserve credit for coming in early, but need to come in a bit later than my usual time of noon. He said it's important to make sure you have a balanced life otherwise you burn out. I hear that one, chef.... Work has been buttery smooth lately, like when the Durham Bulls start winning all the time, I'm 90 percent happy, even with the added workload and the blessings of the chef. But I do need a life, other than exchanging work stories with the barstaff at orchid, where my beers are free, it's close to my place. M@ is right, friends will be there, and life is long, when we have the time to live it. I am getting a bit tired of missing calls from friends, text's I can answer and messages that I cant check. Im a bit lonely. I know I bitch about it a lot, but I am feeling a bit lost right now, work is my main focus, which I nice, but I need a damn life. Dinner for some friends this month: Seared tuna salad, shaved fennel, lemon oil, verjus Carmelized Diver Scallops, Corn and Red onion hash, Spinach beurre noisette Black Bass, Baby summer vegtables, Parsley Jus and potato puree Or Sirloin, baby summer vegtables, sauce bordelaise and potato puree Dessert Peach Confit, Drunken berries and lemon mint granite Current Mood: thoughtful Current Music: flogging molly (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, July 18th, 2005
12:25 am	8 miles a minute for months at a time. The move is all done, and I am really happy about it. I love the new place and constant air conditioning. Having a cleaner apartment is nice too. Its lonely though. I often lie awake at night wondering what my friends are up to. Some are married, expecting and others are working a normal schedule. I'm not bitter, but its amazing how alone someone can feel in a city of 8 million people. I regret making my comment about being undatable on my last post, but sometimes it feels frustrating to be alone except for the company of your co workers.It's like being on a submarine sometimes. Im just frustrated right now, I will most likely have to miss the following events: -My cousin's baby shower (I havent even seen the other cousin's baby yet) -A good friend's wedding, I can't even get a hold of him to rsvp Also I can look forward to rarely getting a saturday night off, because my fill in for my station can't even handle a slower night, let alone the frenzied pace of 3 full seatings. So I gotta work the big shifts, which I consider an honor. But at the same time, I need to lead a life with some semblance (even a small one) of normalcy. I haven't been on a real date in ages, where I get to dress and act a bit more normal, and listen and get to know someone new. I guess I miss that a little bit. It's all good. I guess I am going through my mushy phase right now. The hopeless romantic often comes out when I have time to think about things. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 9th, 2005
1:25 am	yikes. I have a meeting with galen tomorrow about my progress at Mas (farmhouse) and I am stoked, a bit scared but stoked. Not much else to say. Evan and I are looking into the morimoto trip, but are probably just gonna have lunch at craftbar this week. Yum. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 7th, 2005
12:53 am	back in the saddle again so live is good. moved to chelsea, right near F.I.T and I am stoked. the roomate is super cool, the place is super clean and its going really good so far. I am really happy about it. Work was good this week, went to the farmers market with Galen (back from vacation and in a great frame of mind) and we had a blast. Met sue torres (suenos-awesome new school mexican) and Shea (Exec chef at Cru, badass food) and that was fun. Rasperries rock right now, corn and peaches are two weeks away. Im working a lot lately, its been pretty cool, and there are some new challenges, but thats really about it. Evan (My sous chef Sarah's boyfriend) and I might take a field trip to Morimoto for a special omakase. Damn that would be fun. Im happy to be back online full time again, its the only way I really keep in touch with friends. I miss everyone. Other than that, my friend lisa's 40th party was rad. the fireboat had 80 drunken revelers going around the NYC harbor and the food and beer was super. Great peeps I had never met made me feel super comfortable. Having dinner with a few friends soon, they want me too cook...so here are some ideas for the menu. seared tuna salad, shaved fennel and baby teardrop tomatoes Black Bass, red mustard sauce, mushroom duxelle 9 oz sirloin steaks, purple potato "risotto fashion" White shallot puree, baby summer vegtables dessert: Summer berries macerated with ginger and verjus, honey yogurt sauce Cheers T (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, June 27th, 2005
3:49 pm	Little Bombs So what's new. I got a few days before I move out and I can't wait. I love the new place and my roomate is a great cook and keeps a clean place, that should be exciting, the sunday night dinner parties will be lots of fun too. Other than that, work is going smooth, I'm learning more and more and my Chef is continuing to get rave reviews. I got to make a few of his dishes for a photo shoot for Harper's Japan. That was really cool, my SC (sous-chef) said they looked good. I'm being challenged more and shouldering more responsibility. Still making a few slight mistakes, but these are minor details that can be fixed up. Hopefully. Not sucking is something I try to maintain every day. Other than that, I swear I may be undatable, or in someway's a repellant to women. I got stood up on saturday night after work. She was supposed to meet me around midnight, and I got a text from her at around 10 that said she had some bachelorette party or some crap like that. Oh well, at least she did not wait until the last minute or anything like that, because that would have been rude (er) I miss my friends. It's raining in NYC right now, and I would not mind another day off. I am supposed to go to this boat party for my friend Lisa's 40th bday. Should be awesome. Then its tuesday-saturday at Mas. Galen is out of town for the week and I am happy for him. My sous-chef has got it all under control, and her BF (former sous-chef at Bouley) is jumping in for the week, he's a cool guy with serious skills and is totally laid back about everything. It's gonna be a fun week. Then the move next week, time to try to quit smoking again and get back to the gym. I'm still in pretty good shape, but its time to ramp it back up with all speed. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2005
12:23 am	yay had my first day off in a few weeks, was very nice. saw star wars, was pretty good. Lunch at Les Halles followed by dinner at mad 28 with the family. Life is good. My burns arent healing so well...also got my 6 month Hiv test. It took forever, like the DMV with a greater sense of dread in the room. I knew I would be fine (and was fine) but still, its always scary. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
2:18 am	oooof. This six day weeks are kicking my arse. Oh yeah, and baby squid flying out of a hot iron skillet leaves some nice burns on the wrist. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, May 13th, 2005
1:40 am	Mas menu and other notes I need a day off soon so I can eat at mas, gotta make use of the employee perks. I may put out an application for a date to take there sometime (kidding) I can always meet you guys for late night dining on saturday when I get off work. Lots of fun little plates including a raw bar, farm raised cheeses, amazing desserts and a steak tartare that will knock your socks off. Not to mention the amazing house cocktails and siiiiiick wine lists. Always happy to see some friendly faces enjoying themselves.... I feel a lot less burned out today, it was a decent night and it's always sweet to see happy diners as I drag my tired ass out the door. Well its spring kiddies, give this a peep. I love the fact that our chef supports local farms and uses as much organic ingredients as possible. Come check Mas (farmhouse) out. It's romantic as all get out.... Here is the tasty menu: Beau Soleil oysters rose champagne gelee, cucumber and radish mignonette Elihu farm egg poached with black olive oil, wild ramp soup Grilled columbia river sturgeon, french green lentils, scallion fondue Hand Line Caught Wahoo, white asparagus, oregon morels Stone Church Farm Duck Breast, roasted with hazlenuts and red beet marmalade Steamed Zucchini Blossoms stuffed with rabbit, spring vegtables and a sweet pea foam Trumpet royale mushrooms baked on a parmesan sablee, carmelized onions and a pine nut dressing Albacore Tuna L'Occidental flashed beurre noisette and crispy shallots Steamed razor clam chowder, applewood smoked bacon and sherry wine Trout Piscator-neversink river trout stuffed with wild ramps and smoked trout. Pickled ramp, watercress, field mache salad with horseradish dressing Wahoo Tartare with pickled ramps, moutarde violette and hackleback sturgeon caviar Roasted flying pigs farm with a maple gastrique, savoy cabbage, andouille sausage stewed in apple cider Blue Corn crusted soft shell crabs served with italian hand ground polenta, bacon cream (Comment on this)
Monday, May 9th, 2005
12:57 am	my life needs mise en place Piece of advice, dont drink 5 espresso's the day you have to work a 17 hour shift. No matter how tired you are, you cant sleep for at least an hour after you get off work. 10mg of valium might help get my body back in order after a week from hell....one cook got arrested and fired, when he came to get his things, it was sad. He was pretty cool about it, but he made us all laugh, he cooked meat really well and kept the stress level down when we were slammed and in the shits. It's a different vibe back there now. we got a new person training, another one in the wings because our entremetier is leaving. Needless to say, after a few glasses of warre's 1977 vintage port with the chef, he made it clear that my workload was going to be quite high for a few weeks. Which is fine with me to be honest. Chef:"You are going to be working 6 days a week (aka 72 hours) for a little while" Me: "That's fine, I dont have many responsibilities, just bills and the gym" Chef:"What about friends/girlfriends/any kind of life" Me: "This is my life, you gotta do what needs to be done right?" *this was the port talking* -I have no problem stepping up, considering its gonna be me, the chef and two new guys until our sous chef gets back. no pressure huh? But man, its hard hard work. I knew it would be, but i'm so tired I can't even sleep. I sacrificed a lot for this job, and hurt some people in the process. It's a guilt I live with. I have friends who have doubts I'm still alive. I hurt someone I cared about really badly. I'm not raking in much dough and am a bit lonely right now and my eyes burn from lack of sleep. The scary part is that I could not be happier. Got to spend mother's day dinner with the fam and loved it. I wish I could see them more, or help out with my mom's recovery from shoulder surgery. She's busting her butt with one good arm, and working in civil service a few days a week. My dad travels on biz quite a bit, so in some way, I want to live up to their work ethic and make them proud. But I get lonely. My bones ache and my hands hurt. My speed is getting better in the kitchen, and my chef appreciates my hard work and stepping up. I need to drink less too and get back to the gym. Saving money is key as well. Goals are meant to be aquired, but it's obvious my personal life has to take some kind of backseat for a bit. Well our new rabbit confit salad with tuile d'lei is fantastic. Cardamom, pepper, allspice and cinnamon are mixed in the rabbit confit oil. slow cooked for 14 hours at 200 degrees. tender and yummy. The dressing is sherry vin, honey and olive oil. perfect blend of sweet and acid, the green almonds and tuiles made from milk/milk powder are amazing. I love the wahoo wrapped in ramp leaves with morel mushrooms, purple carrot broth, fiddlehead ferns and turnips. Braised short ribs with If you ever get the chance to eat a trumpet royale mushroom, do it. they are steaky and meaty, like a porcini. On a parmesan sablee with pine nut dressing and carmelized onions, its awesome. Ok enough food, got 20 trout to fillet, ramp mousse to make and tuna to slice. Time for bed. Current Mood: tired Current Music: aimee mann-forgotten arm (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
2:58 am	wow. things just got funky Thanks to everyone for their kind words about what I have been going through lately with breaking up with J. I feel kinda guilty about it, and I know I hurt her, but still I had to choose my work first right now. As for other news, 1 cook is quitting and another got fired today for getting arrested and not calling into work or showing up today or a VERY busy saturday night. Needless to say, 13 hours a day for 6 days a week are in my future. Don't take it personally if I cant get in touch with you right away, but I am dans la merde...so to speak. If I do move up a station, its gonna be a whole new period of ass kicking. me getting my ass kicked for a while. Oh well, it happens, its a chance for me to learn more and try to step up where others fell short. Current Mood: its gonna be a long few weeks Current Music: I hung my head-Johnny Cash (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 27th, 2005
1:48 am	I'll be here when it all gets weird Fuck. I ended a relationship because I was overwhelmed. My life has overwhelmed me. I cant move out, change jobs or quit doing what I was born to do. Breaking up with J was awful. She's so upset with me, and angry and hurt. We work opposite schedules and live in opposite parts of the city, having to commute almost 90 minutes by subway after working 13 hours so we could see each other for a half hour before we went to sleep. I felt rushed to move in with her, and that made me uncomfortable. being that I am officially in nearly 45g worth of debt, starting a new job that pays me nada with long hours, it was a lot of stress to try and make a relationship work. I broke it down logically: Her hours Mon and wednesday 12pm-6pm Friday-through monday morning-working 7am-11pm taking care of disabled people in another city. her days off were tuesday and thursday My hours are 12:30pm-11pm and possibly to 1,2am every day except friday and sunday which are my days off. My place is in a not so great neighborhood, and my bed is small, my apt is 6ft x 9ft. my bed is a twin and not great for two people. I cant afford to move out because NYC is too fucking expensive. not on my salary. She said she was worried that my schedule was always going to be like this, and did not know if that worked for her a few months down the road. I said that I have NO control of my schedule and work when needed and have very little say about much during the busy time. I am very dedicated to my job, and its hard. Its hard to be so tired that all you want to do is sleep, yet you have long train rides. I know and appreciate how she works a lot, belive me, I dont understand how she does it, but like me she chose to. This situation sucked, I tried to make it work, but the pressure to do a good job has been mounting, our chef had a meeting with all the cooks, talking about accountability and responsibility for protecting equipment and not wasting anything. Makes perfect sense to me, a new chef/owner relies on his cooks to make sure that every dollar he spends isnt pissed away. So if that means I have to clean microgreens and wild baby lettuces after work, than shit it has to be done. Either way, this week and past week were tough, I saw J once, and that was only for 3 times this past month. I sleep like crap, and am working my butt off in a kitchen with some very talented cooks who I feel a lot of pressure to keep up with. I was spread too thin, and J did not understand that my life, no matter what kitchen I was going to work was going to be like this. Not to mention I want to travel someday with this job, I cant imagine having to pass up an opportunity to further my career and training for any reason (save family emergencies or otherwise that were gravely serious) and if Michel Bras (sorry for the spelling) had a space for me someday, I would have to take it. There are too many 18 year old machines who can kick a lot more ass than me, and I need to soak up as much knowledge from as many parts of the world as I can if I can ever make this work. She said she wont want to wait six months to find out I may take a job somewhere else. Needless to say, it all came to a head on sunday night. Its over. 5 great months with someone so sweet to me, it kills me a bit. I am saddled with guilt because I was stretched too thin and had to make a tough choice. I chose my career over possible love and being long term with someone who was crazy about me. I also wasnt ready to fall in love and I need to get my shit together. I still suffer from past wounds and cant commit too hard to a relationship after giving up a stable job in LV with benefits and everything else in order to go to school, take out student loans and follow my dreams. I went from 800 square feet to 60 square feet in an area where rats find their way in my trash bins outside. I dont have a ton of cash either, so that makes it hard. It hurts. She wont speak to me, I cant blame her for that. My work is suffering, havent had a good night of service since we split. that sucks too, my chef is kicking my ass. For right now, I cant seem to win on either end. She texted me she is going out of town for a while. needs her keys back. after knocking off work, I went to the local bar, grabbed a drink and some chicken wings. I havent been able to eat much this past 6 days and lost about 8lbs because of stress and not sleeping well. A song comes on by flogging molly...its great. I normally don't post lyrics but this made sense for where I am right now.... there is a lesson to be learned, dont think that choosing your life's dream over your outside life is an easy choice. I made it and it hurts. even though I was the one who cut it off. It's happened before to people I care about. Its a dangerous pattern. If I Ever Leave This World Alive by flogging molly. If I ever leave this world alive I'll thank for all the things you did in my life If I ever leave this world alive I'll come back down and sit beside your feet tonight Wherever I am you'll always be More than just a memory If I ever leave this world alive If I ever leave this world alive I'll take on all the sadness That I left behind If I ever leave this world alive The madness that you feel will soon subside So in a word don't shed a tear I'll be here when it all gets weird If I ever leave this world alive So when in doubt just call my name Just before you go insane If I ever leave this world Hey I may never leave this world But if I ever leave this world alive She says I'm okay; I'm alright, Though you have gone from my life You said that it would, Now everything should be all right She says I'm okay; I'm alright, Though you have gone from my life You said that it would, Now everything should be all right Yeah should be alright Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: snow patrol-final straw (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 14th, 2005
11:01 am	slept in So I slept in today, Chatted with my friends for a few seconds. It seems everything in life lately has been broken down into seconds. I get a few seconds here to talk to friends, a few seconds of fresh air before work. I few extra seconds on the alarm clock before I drag my ass out of bed. Havent been to the gym in a couple days and that bums me out. Been really tired lately. Im still stressing out sometimes about work. Lying awake at night for an hour before bed. Thinking about the Girlfriend I rarely see except for an hour here or there before I pass out at her place, exhausted from another night of the job I love. I need some balance in my life at some point or I might go insane. I hate having so little money too, its almost time to start repaying student loans, and that is just another ulcer as well. I do believe I made a great decision for my life, but there are a lot of prices to pay. Eventually it will all even out. Needless to say thank god I am off tomorrow. (Comment on this)
1:37 am	quite a night sometimes I forget this is my first job out of school. I need to take it easy on myself otherwise I will go insane. The fact that it took me two tries to make dill oil properly was frustrating, and blanching fava beans to perfect texture is not as easy as I thought it would be. Fucking baldor showed up with half my mise en place (which needed to be prepped) about an hour before service. Awesome. Sometimes thats the way the cards go. Strive to get your shit together early for a special dish, only to have some vendor fuck up the order and be late. Basically I was dans la merde (sorry for the poor french) for a good hour or so into the night, throwing off my mood. Off to bed. A new day awaits. 80 on the books (I know it doesnt seem like a lot, but we have only 32 seats and do 2-3 turns a night. One person per station) nighty (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
1:28 am	Be yourself, that's all that you can do. Somehow this new audioslave song got stuck in my head during mise en place today. It was a fairly easy day today, but I still am way to hard on myself and am pushing myself to the point that it might annoy my fellow cooks. Burn update: Couple new blisters from hot beurre noisette and a real dinger on my hand via the towel did not cover the entire handle. Oh well, my boxing coach calls it a "free lesson" which he derives from when a boxer drops his hands for a split second and gets caught with a quick shot to the noggin. Im beat. been working out tons lately, with my trainer stripping down my technique to bare bones and showing my how much I need to work on. Might have to hold up on the sparring anytime soon, Im still too out of shape, despite having tobacco free lungs for a few months now. Running and jumping rope are part of the routine. Jo bought some handmitts so I can work with her on her combinations. We still have opposite days off. Sucky. She looks amazing, her clothes are falling off her, and her dedication to training has been impressive and a motivation for me, since she told our trainer she wants to be able to kick my ass down the road. way hot. She has a nice right and needs to get her footwork going, but its pretty impressive how far she has come in the month or so she has started training. Way hot like I said. Mas is going well, the chef said my smoked trout and ramp mousse which fills a torchon of two neversink river trout fillets was perfect, but I still need to nail down the poaching time. My knives are sharp and garde manger is my domain there. I take real pride in doing a bit better each day If I go over, it flakes apart when I cut it, if I go under, well its fuckin raw. Nasty. Wild ramps are in season now and we are pickling them, pureeing them, braising them and wrapping pasture raised veal (grass fed and allowed to run around...so its a bit less cruel) and steaming the veal to cook it. Its amazing. We have a new poached green rhubarb dessert with a hazlenut sablee`, huckleberry sauce and a mint/anise honey fresh yogurt. I really need to type out the new menu. We got screwed on the time out NY awards, and it looks like the fossils at the beard house will be overlooking us (as a dining place, but galen deserves to at least be nominated) in a lot of categories. Ironic that headline grabbing eatery Per Se has sent us tons of thank you notes for the excellent food. Wylie Dufrense was dining tonight and I got to see him. That was pretty cool, really nice guy and a whiz when it comes to creativity and new methods of cooking. Mole Rojo paper. High tech stuff indeed. making a peekytoe crab salad with meyer lemon dressing, fava beans and dill oil for a new amuse-bouche tomorrow. Cant wait, am sick of reheating mussels to order. should be yummy. Mom had her shoulder surgery today, she came through just fine, which helps me sleep a lot better. She needs a 2-4 month recovery time, during the busy season of her landscaping and garden design business....that sucks. Going up to see her and dad, gonna make herb crusted chicken with a mushroom daube and potatoes, do some laundry and head back to brooklyn that night. Current Mood: off to bed Current Music: audioslave (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 30th, 2005
1:23 am	what more can I say Life has been alright, work is going well, been busy lately. The gym has occupied my free time and boxing in the same space with matt damon (who is pretty good) and ben stiller (who needs to keep his hands up) is kinda funny. J is looking really good at the gym as well, and has made great progress with her punching combos. Its fun to train with her, since she is so serious about it. She really tries hard and isnt afraid of a good sweat. That's hot. In my professional life news, our tournant (roundsman or swing cook) is missing, he did not show or call today. No one has heard from him and personally I am a bit concerned for his well being. He is an amazing cook, and no matter how late he shows up, he always gets it done. Plus he never gets pissed off at anything and is team first. Not too mention he is one of the nicest and funniest sob's I have ever met. Covered in tatoo ink, and at a staggering 275, he sweats like a pig and can handle more than anyone. He's fast, fun to work with and has been really good to me as a friend and mentor. He also has a habit of over the top partying, which could be dangerous. Either way I hope he is safe. Chances are my only day off is sunday now, and I will be working 6 days a week at 12 hours a day. Not too cool, my sous chef is pretty pissed about that as well. 70 hours a week. awesome. Take care. Current Mood: damn lowboy is killing my knee Current Music: the shins-caring is creepy (Comment on this)